A Socially-Radical Forgiveness

With a Prayer for Forgiveness

Feb 11, 2009

Saying For Today: Forgiveness is Jesus offering us a way to a freedom and love we never knew before. He is calling us out of the haunt of our habitual detour; he is trying to save us from repeating the same patterns that never bring happiness or healing.

THE SPIRIT SEEMS TO HAVE HAD ME ON A COURSE TITLED "RADICAL FORGIVENESS: OF SELF AND OTHERS," THIS PAST OVER A YEAR. IT APPEARS AS THOUGH,IN THE LAST FEW YEARS, GOD RECRUITED PERSONS, SAYING, "HEY, GO BREAK MY BOY UP, SO HE CAN BECOME THE GENTLE, LOVING MAN I WANT HIM TO BE. BREAK HIM SOME MORE, BREAK HIM OPEN TO THE GRACE OF RADICAL HEALING. HE HAS COME A LONG WAY, BUT NOW I AM PUTTING HIM IN THE 'GRADUATE HUMILITY DEGREE' TREK." TAKING THAT "COURSE" HAS LED ME TO REMEMBER THE SONG "BROKEN AND SPILLED OUT." THE DEEP HURT OF BROKENESS, FROM DIFFERENT SOURCES - INCLUDING BROKEN DREAMS I CHERISHED DEEPLY - HAS BROKEN ME OPEN, TO BE A MORE LOVING, FORGIVING, AND CHRISTLIKE MAN - AS WELL AS STRONGER MAN, LESS RELIANT ON OTHERS' FEELINGS OR THOUGHTS. I REJOICE! AND THANK GOD! AND FROM MY CONTINUING JOURNEY IN FORGIVENESS - I AM FAR FROM GRADUATING -, OF OTHERS AND SELF, I OFFER YOU, TODAY, WHAT I CONSIDER THE MOST HEART-FELT OFFERING IN THE SEVERAL YEARS OF ONELIFE WRITINGS.

To You in Love, Brian K. Wilcox 02/10/09

21 Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone [or, my brother or sister] who sins against me? Seven times?”

22 “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven![or seventy-seven times]

23 “Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. 24 In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. 25 He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned — to pay the debt.

26 “But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ 27 Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.

28 “But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment.

29 “His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. 30 But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.

31 “When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. 32 Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. 33 Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ 34 Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.

35 “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”

Today's Scripture speaks, as context shows, to forgiveness among followers of Christ. The Gospel addresses this, indicating by context, that churches were struggling with interpersonal differences and how to address them in agreement with the spirit of following Jesus Christ.

The number seven indicates wholeness. Likewise, we can read Jesus as using hyperbole. The response to Peter can be rendered, "There is to be no limit to your forgiveness of a brother or sister in Christ."

Certainly, such standards are necessary. And, certainly, we can affirm that we who love the forgiving Christ and call Him our example, can find it very difficult to share his Spirit of forgiveness with a brother or sister in God who has hurt us.

We are human, also. We can affirm how human it is to flee into an escape route from forgiveness. Our fleeing may be the faster for hurt reminding us of like hurt from the past. We know how we can scurry for shelter from a person who has hurt us, even another Christian whom we once held close to our heart and cherished wholly. Love can quickly deform into hostility, even in the guise of a silent and apparently passive humility.

We play such ego-games, and often it takes God a long time to help us see our subtle ploys at self-reproach or blame of others. And, we may sense, God keeps showing us ever more subtle, "apparently" innocent, forms of lingering unforgiveness.

These facts are, indeed, why we need a standard outside our hurt, what happened - or we say happened, for emotional pain can distort perception of such matters - , and our feelings. Christians are not to resort to the same "justifications," even legal ones, for unforgiveness or unfaithfulness, or for breaking covenant with another spiritual brother or sister. The Bible and example of Jesus are as clear as can be on such a matter.

Certainly, there are relationships that will not be mended, not in this life. Some relationships do not need your or my efforts or risk at mending, due to matters of an extreme nature. But, generally, a relationship between two true Christians can be healed and both persons can come out stronger and more loving for it, and closer to each other, too (Note the example of Peter and Jesus, after Peter denied Him).

Forgiveness, then, is not about rule-keeping. Forgiveness is Jesus offering us a way to a freedom and love we never knew before. He is calling us out of the haunt of our habitual detour; he is trying to save us from repeating the same patterns that never bring happiness or healing.

We could say, Jesus' so-demanding teaching on forgiveness is His way of inviting us to a so-wonderful life. He knows without a radical forgiveness, we never arrive at a radical love. He demonstrated such love on the cross, by forgiving those who crucified Him. He was saying, "This way of forgiving is the way to True Life, Amazing Grace, Splendorous Love."

You say, "But what if another person refuses to forgive?" Jesus says, "Well, you forgive, anyway."

You say, "What if I have been treated so badly or the character of the person makes it wisely advisable for me to avoid him or her?" Jesus says, "Well, you forgive, anyway."

You say, "What if others of my friends and family do not want me to forgive this person?" Jesus says, "Well, you forgive, anyway."

You say, "I tried to forgive and couldn't. What am I to do?" Jesus says, "Well, you forgive, anyway."

You say, "I don't know how I can forgive, the hurt is so deep. What am I to do?" Jesus says, "Well, you forgive, anyway. And I will help you."

Evil gains an entrance into our hearts through unforgiveness and its lingering physical, emotional, and spiritual consequences. Resentment, malice, smouldering rage, ... , indeed, all the offspring of unforgiveness are so contrary to the Spirit of Love that we cannot find the forgiveness we seek in Christ, until we begin to process forgiveness toward those who have hurt us, and sometimes unjustly and deeply. If we forgive, we melt the very prison cell around us that kept us cut off from the full Presence of God.

What is the heart that can practice this radical forgiveness? Scripture tells us:

Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

*Ephesians 4.32 (NLT)

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

*Colossians 3.12 (NLT)

Remember, as you consider this lesson about forgiveness, a truth many persons do not discern in our individualistic me-first society. Here is the amazing truth:

Unforgiveness creates a mutual energy-pact (an unholy alliance) between two persons. Forgiveness pertains to an act of energy: whether that is binding or freeing. Actually, when you refuse to forgive the other person, you are agreeing to remain in a mutually-hurtful pact, wherein his or her and your energy is tied in a single knot. Your trying to free yourself, in any way that defies forgiveness, will strengthen the knot - the unholy alliance against Love is still fully in tact. And, when you begin untying that defiant bond, as you work through forgiveness, you are lessening the mutual-pact - even if the other person is not conscious of this. This, then, even purely on a psychological level, not to say spiritual one, gives the other person less unforgiveness energy to work with or against. You, then, in the action of forgiveness are working for the freedom of both the other and yourself from the graceless pact and into a state of Grace toward each other and with God. Of course, the person may not agree with the dissolving of the deadly pact, for he or she has freewill that Love will not override. Either way, you have worked toward being more like Christ; and freeing yourself from the harmful results, on every level of your being, of unforgiveness.

Today, is there someone who has hurt you. You have refused to forgive, or you have given up on forgiving, after trying to. The Spirit of Christ can soften your heart to forgive. You can say to the person, in prayer or another way, "I forgive you. Please forgive me for anyway I have hurt you, also." You can do that. Even if you do not know if you can, if you are willing to, you will receive Grace to do it. All Spirit needs is your willingness. I offer you a prayer of willingness.

Dear Christ of mercy, in remembrance of your speared side and nailed wrists, I pray, Precious Lamb of God. I feel deeply hurt by ( . . .). I am willing for you to soften my heart and grant me love to forgive (. . .), and forgive without accusation against (. . .). I am willing to seek forgiveness from (. . .), as you so lead, and in a manner not implicating (. . .) for my own choices of behavior or attitude. I am willing to will both the full healing and hurt of both (. . .) and me, that we might continue our lives free of the past and open to a full, healthy, and joyful life in the future. Grant Grace for the fulfillment of this prayer, and wisdom in how to do my part. For what I cannot do, by the choice of (. . .), I give to you and your will, to do as you will. Amen.